Ten reasons why people come home worse than when they left
We all look forward to this time of year and the summers holidays with family and friends – having a nice break, it will be good for us. Relaxation. Recovery. A chance to recharge.
Then we return home with a stiff neck, sore back, swollen ankles, and pains in muscles we didn’t know existed.
As we all find out – holidays can be one of the most physically demanding activities many of us undertake all year. This blog takes slightly humorous look at ten events in the holiday olympics that can lead to painful rather than pleasant memories.
Number 1. The Airport Strongman Competition
20kg doesn’t sound much – but nobody trains all year to lift a 20 kg suitcase repeatedly. Yet somehow, come holiday day, this becomes entirely normal.
I often get told by returning holiday makers: ‘I only picked up my suitcase.’
Unfortunately, what you did was perform multiple, poorly executed, deadlifts or worse still, an attempt at a low flying kettle bell swing – while stressed and running late.
Number 2. The Airline Flexibility Assessment
Modern airlines have worked hard at designing optimal spaces to squeeze fully grown adults into and that’s short haul – long haul unless you can afford first class isn’t much better. You spend hours with your knees touching your ears and your neck bent at an angle that would concern any chiropractor or physio, whilst your shoulders curl inwards like a dry leaf to avoid the person next to you.
Number 3. The “Let’s Walk Everywhere” Delusion
At home: ‘We’ll drive as it’s two miles.’ On holiday: ‘Oh, it’s only six miles to the castle.’
Suddenly people, who average 5,000 steps per day, decide to walk 25,000 steps over cobbles, hills and ancient staircases. That aching knee suddenly becomes that painful knee, the manageable backache likewise. If you have ankle or knee problems, sometimes it helps to have simple support with you – just in case.
Number 4. The Flip-Flop Athletic Challenge
Following on from Number 3, not only do distances walked increase, for reasons science has never adequately explained, people abandon perfectly good footwear and spend a week in footwear (loose term) that provides no support and no protection – flip flops.
Number 5. Dad (Mum’s not excluded) Versus The Water Park and Fair Ground Rides
Every summer, thousands of fathers (yes, it is mainly men) become convinced they still possess the agility they had 20 years (or more) ago. Children run across the inflatable obstacle course effortlessly and bounce around on fairground rides whilst laughing.
Dad sees this and thinks: ‘How hard can it be?’ Three minutes later he finds out; Face first in the water, something has ‘gone’ as he hobbles away to the nearest chair, or clutching his neck. As we age, we don’t bounce like we used to. Muscles don’t stretch as quickly or as far, joints likewise.
Number 6. The Abba Aches
So how did you do it (this time mainly mums)? ‘I was only dancing’. For how long? ‘A few hours.’ Often on holiday we jump around for hours when in everyday life we don’t. Even if you go to the gym, you don’t jump around for hours. Shoulders, backs, knees and ankles are all fair game for hours of Abba dancing.
Number 7. Bar Stool Bottom
Recently I had a few instances of this visit me. Low back pain they just couldn’t explain. Until they mention sitting on a bar stool on holiday. I have no idea who thought that sitting half-cocked on a small surface, too high to reach the floor with your feet, was good idea. It really can affect your low back and sacrum.
Number 8. The Sun Lounger Trap
The sun lounger appears harmless. It is not as I tell my patients. To be fair the solid ones with a soft mattress topper are best, but the old sagging material type ones are guaranteed to aggravate an existing back problem or even create one. Laying on your front reading a book is usually the worst position.
Number 9. Hotel Floors – Slip Sliding Away
It is one of those odd things that holiday hotels nearly always have shiny tiles that, with even a small amount of moisture become an ice rink. On many occasions people visit me after slipping on a floor and even down stairs. These can be serious injuries, so wear sensible footwear and be careful.
Number 10. The Return Journey
You are tired.
You are dehydrated.
You have eaten your body weight in buffet food.
You have carried luggage across an airport approximately the size of Belgium.
At this point your musculoskeletal system has officially resigned and that 20kg bag feels like 40kg. Slow and steady – if you miss your bag on the carousel don’t lunge, sprint and wrestle it off, it will be around again.
How To Return Home In One Piece
- Lift luggage sensibly – remember try to avoid bending and twisting at the same time
- Move regularly during flights
- Wear supportive shoes for sightseeing
- Stay hydrated – especially when Abba music comes on
- Remember that seeing your children do something does not mean you should or can do it
- Treat inflatable water parks and fair ground rides with caution
- Watch out for sagging sunbeds, sky-high barstools and ice rink floors
Final Thoughts
If you return from holiday with a sore back, stiff neck, aching calves and a limp, don’t be embarrassed. You’ve simply taken part in Britain’s most popular summer sport: Going on holiday.
If anything lasts more than a week then think about paying me a visit.
